Esa Enai – I Lift My Eyes
I am searching for words
For the words that describe,
Make sense, or at least comfort.
Words that summon me from the depths
Of my solitude.
In the night, there is darkness.
Restless attempts to sleep,
Twisting, turning into the shadows.
As I seek a comfortable pose
I bring my knees to my chest
Folding my dreams in half;
Will the crease ever come out?
And in the day there are
Silent attempts to find hope.
Twisting, turning toward the light
As I look for direction, a path, a way.
It is not easy to find the way.
And so
I lift my eyes to the mountains
Heaven lays her head upon the mountaintop
And I begin to climb.
What is the source of my help?
I climb and gaze upon the vistas.
More mountains, more horizons
Never ending moments where Heaven meets earth,
Never-ending possibilities to meet the Divine.
Lift me, carry me, offer me courage.
Help me understand life’s sharpest paradox:
That to live is tragic and wonderful,
Painful and awesome, dark and filled with light.
I lift my eyes to the summit
And as I climb I find my help
In the turning and twisting it takes to
Ascend.
I have found a path and it is worn and charted
By all those who are summoned from solitude.
I take their lead.
And I know that in the most essential way
I am being carried up the mountain.
And even now,
Dear God, even now
I am not alone.
Rabbi Karyn D. Kedar
The Bridge to Forgiveness
stories and prayers for finding God and restoring wholeness